With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I thought it was time to share about a special someone in this crazy journey who I am most thankful for- my loving husband who has stood by my side every step of the way.
I was raised in a very loving home and I always knew from a young age that I wanted to be married and have children when I grew up. As I entered my early twenties, I began to seriously wonder about who I would marry and how long it would take to find my Mr. Right. I was a late bloomer to the dating world and many of my friends were in serious relationships and getting engaged before me. During that time there was a particular scripture verse that I would meditate on–
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
I would pray and ask God that my marriage would be a tree of life in my heart, that it would be a constant reminder that God is on my side, looking out for me, and able to do exceedingly more in my life than I could ask or imagine. I wanted my marriage to be a force in my life that when I looked at it- I saw God’s faithfulness to me.
And that is exactly what I got when I married Andrew.
From the very first moment Andrew and I met we had an instant, special connection. Our first conversation was something out of a movie- almost as if it was scripted. It was fun and light and left both of us with our curiosity peaked about one another. We truly had a whirlwind romance- after a few months of friendship we started officially dating, a few months after that we got engaged, and a few months after that we were walking down the aisle to say “I do.”
We had no idea what was coming our way over the next several years– most significantly a number of long distance moves and, of course, our battle to become pregnant and start our family. It’s been through these times of transition and challenge that I’ve had the opportunity to really appreciate the tree of life that is my relationship with my husband.
Allow me to brag on this man of mine for a moment-
Andrew has been 100% committed to growing our family alongside me. He has reassured me when I’ve questioned myself and stood in strong faith that we will be parents one day. He is completely supportive of every single fertility test we’ve been evaluated for and every single treatment we’ve tried. He has rearranged his work schedule and meetings to come with me on my appointments and taken his lunch breaks to go get his own labs drawn.
When I’ve been worried or anxious, he’s been the voice of reason and calm. When I’ve questioned if we are doing the right thing, he has reassured me in our choices.
When issues came up with his sperm and he needed to become the patient, he gladly complied. He subjected himself to invasive exams and procedures without hesitation or complaint.
And he’s been so supportive of me finding my own support with strangers through an online community- even allowing me to share details of his own test results and procedures with all of you. Believe me, when we first got married neither one of us ever thought I’d be posting about our sperm situation on the internet, but, hey, if our story helps or encourages anyone out there, it’s worth it. (Side note- I always get his permission before I post anything or even repeat test results to friends/family. Privacy is still important to us.)
Andrew is a man of intentionality. He loves me on purpose and remembers the little details that he knows will make me happy. I remember laying in bed reading one night and complaining about how far I had to reach to try to turn off the bedside lamp (hard life, right?). I, half-jokingly, said “This needs to be a clap light so I don’t have to sit up and reach so far when I’m trying to fall asleep.” A few days later we were in the bedroom and he clapped — the light turned off. Then he clapped again and it turned on! Surprise! He had ordered and installed a clap switch on my side of the bed. It made me laugh so hard and made me feel so loved!
I’ve lost track of the number of times he’s remembered the details of what would make me happy and followed through to make that thing happen for me. He found my favorite old children’s book that my granny used to read to me that’s now out of print– bought it for me as a Christmas gift one year. He hunted down an original edition of the Candyland game that I played as a kid because I was upset that they had changed the board and the characters. He bought it for me for my birthday so that our kids could play the same game I did growing up. Last night I said that I wished we had the old VHS of Mickey’s Sing-a-Long Christmas Carols that I watched when I was little. Within less than 5 minutes he found a digital version online for me to play while we decorate the tree.
He makes me personalized greeting cards that he designs and prints himself. And he gives them to me with or without a special occasion to go along with it. Some days I’ll get a text from him to open a certain book to a specific page and there will be a card there for me or I’ll open my purse in the middle of the day to find a little surprise that he hid there the night before.
He really is a man of action- which means he loves me, and he shows me that he loves me. He is constantly checking in with me, ready and willing to help with anything I might need. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.
So as I reflect back on the past (almost) five years together as a married couple- the ups and and the downs, the fun surprises in life we’ve experienced, and the not-so- fun seasons that have challenged us in ways we never predicted- I know in my heart that God truly did answer my prayer as a young, single woman wondering about her future. He provided me with a husband who I love so much, who loves me dearly and who will be the most incredible dad to our kids. When I look at our relationship- I see God working in my life, His willingness to answer my prayers, and His intention to continue to do so. Our marriage really is a tree of life for me and I am so grateful.